So a lot of things have happened in my life since I turned 14. Some good and some bad. But there are always those few things that stick out in my mind that I won't ever forget. I'm not really sure WHAT I'm talking about, but I do have one thing in my head that won't leave. I don't want it to. But the fact that it won't go away... is driving me insane.
I've dated lots of boys. Which is not a bad thing. The prophet said to date lots. And I have! but I claimed to love them all. Which I'm not saying I didn't. I did. They don't believe me. But I don't care. I know I truly cared and loved them. Just not how they wanted me to.
But this blog isn't about those boys. It's actually just about one. My best friend. He was the best guy friend I could EVER have. We have so many memories! Ha! He was actually the first person to ever get me to swear.... but thats bad... So we forget that happened (lol!) We are getting across from the point! This boy is amazing! He is the best listener ever! And he always knew when I needed a hug. When I needed a smile. He always knew what to do to make me be happy. Hanging out with him was great! We never had a dull moment. It's like we knew each other all our lives.
One day, this boy told me he liked me. I told him I didn't like him that way. He was ok with that and he continued on. But what I told him... was a lie. I just couldn't get myself to tell him. I didn't know what to do. I knew he liked me. I didn't want him to. I don't know why. I didn't want things to get weird between us. I didn't want to screw up the most perfect friendship ever!!!
This boy and I were friends through the rest of high school with a few ignorant moments, which we later forgave each other for. Graduation came. I still talked to him. But not nearly as much. I remember he went to Disneyland with his family. And for two or three days straight, instead of going places with his family, he stayed at the place they were staying and we played games through MSN messenger. It was probably one of the best times ever. I didn't even talk to him with my voice. Just typing. But it was great! Then the next few months I lost sight of lots of things that were important. October came around... he got his mission call!!! He called me.. "Toronto Canada"
"Are you serious?!"
"yeah I'm serious"
"That is where my grandpa lives!!"
"Really? thats awesome!"
"Oh my gosh! I can't believe you are going to canada!!! I'm so happy for you!"
And that was the end of the call. I couldn't believe it.. The millions of places he could go... And he goes there. Amazing.
A month later he texts me "We should hang out before I go." "agreed" I say
"let me take you out to dinner"
"alright. That sounds fun"
did it ever happen? no :( I got "busy" and couldn't.
Christmas Time came around. His farewell was the sunday before.. I had to buy christmas presents "I really want to get him something mom. I missed his birthday too... I'm horrible"
"get him something for his mission!"
":D ok!!"
So the next time I was in Ogden, my dad and I went missionary shopping. I had some ideas but wasn't sure what he could take with him... and I wanted what I gave him to stay with him. I wanted part of me to be with him. After a long day of searching two different Deseret Book stores and one Segull Books... We got what we needed. A tie pin with ETTE (but the last E is backward), a hold to the rod key chain, a book called "
The Missionary's Little Book of Teaching Tools" then a card that said something to the thought of (front) friend (like a dictionary type look), open it and it said definition: you. It said a few other things. But thats it.
Wrapping presents this year was way fun but my favorite was definitely wrapping his. After wrapping it. I found a little present bag and stuck it in. Tied it closed. Found a paper bag. Put it in (perfect fit!). Closed that and STAPLED. Wrote "Do not open til christmas" on the bag. Then on the 23rd of christmas. I drove over to his house. PRAYED he wouldn't answer the door.
*knock knock*
little girl opens door (and I feel horrible for not knowing her name... but she was the littlest sister)
I smile and talk quietly "Can you give this to Chris. Don't tell him its from me... ok?"
She got very excited!!! "ok!!"
She took the bag and ran away.
Christmas morning comes around.. I get a text "Thank you."
:D what a great christmas!!
Then January 14th came around. And he was gone. I never saw him. :(
but that didn't stop us talking to each other! that first day I sent him a letter the day he got there. And the following Saturday I got one back!!! How exciting!
For a while, I got random emails and letters. Then it stopped for about a week. Then I got an email "I'm in Canada!!!" thats what it said!
Wow! in canada?! already?!?!! wow.
from there out... I got weekly emails. Wednesday (I was dumb though.... and didn't realize they came on the same day each week....)
But I was REALLY stupid and didn't write him... for a month. He continued to write me though... but every week... they were smaller and smaller.... and smaller... I was angry at myself!
So I finally wrote him back.. HAHA three emails, two letters and two more emails... then another letter and one more email. And I'm sending another letter very soon..... all in a three weeks...
But this isn't the end...
I was talking to a friend of mine. Actually he is more then a friend. He is my little brother :D But we were talking and I was telling him about how bad I felt and how I missed Chris and... well I realized something talking to him... I'm in love with my best friend. I always knew I liked him... but... I never cared for a guy like this before. I cry because he is gone. But I'm happy for what he is doing. My feelings are all mixed up but I know exactly where they are at the same time!!
:) I wrote him a letter... and I'm going to send it to him. It's a pretty good letter if I must say so myself.
I hope he enjoys it. Cause I know I enjoyed writing it. :D
This boy is constantly on my mind! It drives me insane! Not because it bugs me... but because I know I can't see him for a little less than two years!!! :) I'm going to do it. two years is nothing. I got through high school faster then I ever imagined! two years of pretty much nothing ness is going to be a piece of cake!
I love him. and I want everyone to know. ...especially him.
Now this. This is the end. For now :)
